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I had thought of posting this as a friends only entry but I decided that no I needed to share these truths about myself here for everyone to see it is rather long and not fully detailed but I needed . . . no wanted to finally share some of the things that have happened to me and the struggles I face daily with myself. I might make a secondary post in a few days just depends on comments.

I used to be a HUGE meat eater I used to love eating meat then about the summer of 2008 I started feeling sick when I smelt cooked or cooking meat but I also knew I wanted to do something about my weight as well I've had weight issues all my life I've always been heavy but I didn't realise how bad it had gotten you know like how you never really look in the mirror and scales you don't dare go near. I would weigh myself maybe once a year then swear to never do that again (go on the scales that is) I have suffered with a form of well an eating disorder where I would binge eat for days then barely eat for days I once went 2 weeks with only eating a yougurt covered biscuit and drinking diet coke and coffee I barely slept in those 2 weeks and I would only eat that biscuit about 7pm never any earlier than that I got away with it mostly because for the 1st week my parents were away then the 2nd week I would take my food to my room and either flush it down the loo or scrap it into the bin after everyone else had eaten.
Anyway I didn't realise how bad my weight was because I refused to weigh myself I knew I'd put weight on from when I left my job working in the university in my hometown back in September 04 I managed the 1st year to not put much weight on mainly because I was still doing things but I wasn't as active and I was eating more becuase in the year before I left my job I wouldn't eat anything but my dinner lunch consided of a large coffee and maybe a chocolate bar or pastry or both sometimes just the coffee.
Anyway fast forward a few years to December 2008 where I ended up seeing my OB/GYN because I hadn't had a cycle in about 18 months I got weighed there and was told I was 141.1kg or 311 lb and 1.15 oz or 22 st and 3.07 lb I was told I had a BMI of 50 which ment if I were to have an accident and needed surgury I would die or in some places in the UK they have a right to refuse me medical treatment.
I didn't know what to do I saw a dietisan who's sole advice was to exercise now I'm heavly overweight I stuggle to exercise plus where was I going to find the time to go to the gym? I was working at this point and had 2 days a week off one of those I was shopping with my parents which translated to 1 day which was my day for catching up with everything I was doing I didn't want to waste it going to the gym. At this time I was also feeling sick eating any meat it was like my body was saying NO!!! I was struggeling with what to do I didn't know what to do or who to ask or anything.
Then a few months more like 6 weeks a friend of mine on livejournal posted about her weightloss as she herself had always had weight issues like me. We talked and talked and talked and at the end of it I was considering going vegetarian which I started going into in the middle of febuary with buying some veggie foods to try (none of them were vegan at this point) I then realised with cutting the meat down I was slowly feeling better but I was still having problems with my throat something I've struggled with since I was 14 so I decided to also cut out dairy I'd already stopped eating eggs when I was 13 as I couldn't stand the thought of the fact that they could of been baby chickens (I won't go any further than that lets say I had a taumatic experience with an egg once). I started feeling even more better without dairy turns out I'm lactose intolerant. I finally managed to convice my mom who said I needed to still eat chicken that I would no longer eat it as just the smell of it made me feel sick plus I was going vegetarian I'd also done alot or online research into animal right and factory farming I decided then and there I was going vegan this was all within weeks by June 2009 I was fully vegan yes I've made mistakes along the way without realising someting I thought was vegan wasn't because I hadn't fully read the ingredients.
Since going vegan I have had my resolve further strenghtand by having read more and more about animal welfare as well as about factory farming the 2 books that cemented it for me were The Pig That Sang to the Moon and Farm Sanctuary. I continue to read simial books to help me on my journey I'm currently reading Domnion by Matthew Scully.
I guess this is an added bonus but since going vegan I am now 112kg or 246 lb and 14.68 oz or 17 st and 8.91 lb
I've lost 29.1kg or 64lb or 4 st and 8oz


( 12 comments — Leave a comment )
Oct. 18th, 2010 11:52 pm (UTC)

I'm so happy for you Sammy. Small steps hun and thank goodness you're on the right track :D

I read all posts, but I don't always comment :/ But I just had to comment on this :)

BTW- I FLOVE your mood .gif!
Oct. 19th, 2010 09:53 am (UTC)

Thanks Jess I do the same with your journal read everything but don't always comment.
Yes small steps are good I really felt the need to share this I'm seriously thinking of doing a follow up post about this all.

lol thanks I like my mood theme it always provides amusment
Oct. 19th, 2010 07:14 pm (UTC)
You should!

You're doing a great job and I think that you inspire others too. You tweet about being vegan and health and posting about your successes here can help too :D

Now this icon! So beautiful! I used to have DD&DGA icons too :D I loved the X-Files, and a part of me shipped them, before I even knew what a shipper is LOL
Oct. 19th, 2010 09:45 pm (UTC)
I'm going to do it there is more I need to say on my stuggles with my eating and how I've managed to take control and not let it control my life so much.

Yes I was a HUGE X-Files fan back in the day and was a David&Gillian shipper up until just after David got married to Téa used to hate her because she split them but I actually kinda like her since they had kids together plus she's a great mom and a great woman. plus I can still secretly ship 'em ;-)
Oct. 19th, 2010 12:19 am (UTC)
that's really great!!! congrats! I just became a vegetarian last year. I'm sensitive to Milk and Diary so I cut out those and may go fully vegan (in terms of clothing) eventually. I'm glad to know someone else had a revulsion to meat. Once I started reading books like fast food nation and The Omnivore's Dilemma, meat really starting making me to throw up. Just the scent of chicken cooking will make me want to be sick. When I take the time to eat right, it keeps my weight in check. When I get lazy though, it's easy to backslide by eating too many carbs.

I'm really glad I've met some people online who don't eat meat because I know no one in real life who doesn't. It's so hard sometimes because my friends/family are supportive, but don't understand and I feel so lost when thinking of what to eat sometimes.

I'm glad it's been going so well for you!!! :)
Oct. 20th, 2010 09:26 am (UTC)
Thanks babe. That's so great I found it really easy to go vegan 99% of my clothing was vegan anyway as I'm allergic to most wool I made the food transistion fairly quickly I was surprised how easy it was for me.
I'm surprised when I meet other people who get sick from the smell of meat or eating it there aren't many of us. I had a weird experience this week I forgot how much the smell of cooking chicken makes me feel sick as I'm normally not home when it's cooked but my mum asked me to put the chickens on in the afternoon so they'd be cooked before it was time to cook dinner so they could eat them cold the following day I nearly pucked when I walked into the kitchen when they were cooking. Yes it is easy to be unhealthy whilst being vegan just because you don't eat animal products doesn't automatically mean your healthy it depends on what foods you eat. I have days where I might eat some crap like crisps or vegan chocolate but then the following day I don't and eat really healthy.

I'm so glad for the internet I don't think I would of ended up being vegan as I had no idea what it really ment as there is a lot of misconceptions about what veganism really is where I live. Heck I haven't even told my mum I'm vegan as she wouldn't support my decision to be vegan she's very opinionated about it so I can't talk to her about it but my sister is very supportive of me being vegan as she's seen what a positive effect it's had on my life. I don't have any friends who are vegan I know someone I used to work with that was transistioning to being vegan when I was working with her but at that time I wasn't intrested in not eating animals. A few of my friends are vegetarian even my sister is and one of my neices the other 3 are omnis.

I'm very greatful that going vegan has helped me so much it's helped me get into a better state of mind and have a better relationship with food something I'm going to be talking about in my next post that I'll be posting this week.
Oct. 19th, 2010 04:58 am (UTC)
I'm so proud of you, Sammy, and happy you feel better with this way of living *hugsies*
Oct. 19th, 2010 09:55 pm (UTC)
Thanks so much Edna it's helped me deal with alot of my food issues that I'm going to expand on in another post so everyone can see how easy it is to overcome food issues.
Oct. 19th, 2010 09:36 am (UTC)
That's awesome babe! Losing 29 kg is really huge! And losing it by changing your diet is so much healthier than losing it by not eating anything at all! I'm a vegetarian since 2008. I tried to go vegan and will probably make the full change one day. My grandma and mom became lactose intolerant in the last few years, so I'll guess the day will come when I can't eat diary as well. Milk and yogurt itself won't be a problem. But chocolate..oh I love chocolate :( But reducing diary products and eggs is probably better already than the way I was eating before.
Oct. 20th, 2010 09:34 am (UTC)
Thanks honey yes I kinda realise how huge it is losing that 29kg even though it's been over an 18 month period it's much better doing it slowly than rushing the weightloss it also means I'm less likely to put more weight back on. That's so great that you've gone vegetarian I thought I'd stuggle giving up chocolate but I've found so many great dairy free ones that I'm happy with eating them it's funny now thinking what is in normal chocolate that I kinda feel a little sick at the thought of eating it. But yes you're heading in the right direction with reducing your dairy intake and you could find you'll also be lactose intolerant as well my Dad is lactose intolerant as well. If you go the right way you can be a healthy person on a no meat diet but it's just as easy to be unhealthy if you live just on chips which I must admit every once in awhile I might have some chips but it's about every 2-4 weeks so it's not too bad.
Oct. 19th, 2010 02:42 pm (UTC)
That's really good going losing all that weight. :)
Oct. 19th, 2010 09:47 pm (UTC)
Thanks Wendy :) I still have more weight to lose but all that is for the next post I'm making this week ;)
( 12 comments — Leave a comment )

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